Q. My niece is planning on having the ceremony in Maui. Most of her family lives in California, and we feel like this is quite a big deal to ask 35-40 people to fly, stay, and eat there. Is there protocol that dictates where a bride is to have a wedding? ,
A. There are no rules which dictate where the wedding should be held–it is a very personal decision that each bride and groom must make for themselves. While it may be traditional for the wedding to be held in the bride’s hometown, it is by no mean mandatory, or even commonplace nowadays.
If you don’t feel as though you can afford to attend your niece’s wedding, then you should simply send your regrets when you receive your invitation. As far as the bride asking for the family to contribute to the wedding itself, if she is asking you for financial help and you are unable or unwilling to provide it, be candid and tell her that you are unfortunately not able to help her out. Discussion over the wedding expenses should be had openly and tactfully, in order to avoid any hurt feelings.