Q: My niece is getting married soon. I attended a wedding shower for her and bought her a nice gift. Am I also supposed to buy her a wedding gift? I will not be attending her wedding. A friend of mine tells me that you always buy a wedding gift in addition to a shower gift.
A: Yes, your friend is right. A shower and a wedding are two separate events and one would bring a gift to both. Since you attended the shower, you obviously brought her a gift. You traditionally respond to a wedding invitation with a gift whether or not you are able to attend so you should give a wedding gift as well. Usually shower gifts are smaller and more personal than wedding presents, reflecting the more intimate nature of the event itself. If you went to greater lengths or expense with your shower gift you would still want to give something in response to the wedding invitation even if it were a smaller gesture. In your case, where you are not going to be present personally, this makes sense.