Q: I’m appalled that some friends of my daughter and her fiance have asked if they can bring dates to their wedding, even though the invitations make no mention of allowing extra guests. Isn’t it improper to ask?
A: Yes, it is, first and foremost-as you well know-because weddings are expensive, which is why the bride and groom spend hours paring down the guest list. Moreover, wedding aren’t dating events, so if an invitation isn’t addressed to the recipient “and guest,” it means “no date.” If someone doesn’t know enough not to ask to bring along an extra person, simply say that dates can’t be included. An exception could be made however, if the bride and groom invite someone and subsequently learn that the person is engaged. They can then choose to extend an invitation to the fiance too.